Yes, some people really do make the world go round - and are exceptionally special.
I need to talk about my cousin’s wife Avril. Michael and Avril transferred to the US towards the end of last from Germany. Another strange country for Avril – Michaels job has taken them to a number of countries and Avril has be truly amazing. She gets involved with whatever is happening locally, joins clubs, learns the language (at least they speak English where she is now – well sort of), keeps a fabulous house and is very often left on her own as Michaels work takes him off on business all over the world. And I have never heard Avril complain.
But the most special thing about her is that she is always in touch with her family – and Michaels. She is the only person I know now that takes time to buy the birthday cards and Christmas cards and, low and behold, a few days before your birthday the card is in the mail box. All too often now days, a quick birthday email is what one expects – so this “old fashioned” card makes the day so much more special – she never forgets. And not to mention the regular newsy emails about their lives, the dogs, what they have been doing and seeing. I swear Avril should put all these letters together in a book. She writes so well and it is a pleasure to share their travels and happenings with them!
She is such a star and my first resolution for the New Year is to follow her lead.
Friday, 26 December 2008
Monday, 8 December 2008
Joy – a new car!
I at long last decided to take the plunge and get a new car – well almost brand new with only 8000kms on the clock - and picked it up over the weekend.
I have had a couple of heart-stopping moments of not being able to find it in parking lots because I am looking for my old red car – this one is gold. I have a more than one heart-stopping moment thinking that fully laden taxis are heading straight for me or pulling onto the freeway at 25kph. I am still getting used to controls as they are all on the wrong side and keep flicking the windscreen wipers instead of the indicators – my brain will hopefully be imprinted soon!
I now have to teach my cat about the new car – she runs down the drive to meet me and jumps into the car for a little ride…. So she must get used to the new sound, shape and colour.
And yeah – it is so nice to drive a new car – it is comfortable, goes like a rocket (haven’t fully tested this yet!) and is lovely to drive.
I have had a couple of heart-stopping moments of not being able to find it in parking lots because I am looking for my old red car – this one is gold. I have a more than one heart-stopping moment thinking that fully laden taxis are heading straight for me or pulling onto the freeway at 25kph. I am still getting used to controls as they are all on the wrong side and keep flicking the windscreen wipers instead of the indicators – my brain will hopefully be imprinted soon!
I now have to teach my cat about the new car – she runs down the drive to meet me and jumps into the car for a little ride…. So she must get used to the new sound, shape and colour.
And yeah – it is so nice to drive a new car – it is comfortable, goes like a rocket (haven’t fully tested this yet!) and is lovely to drive.
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Bracken: A Mighty Fine Cat
When I started my blog at the beginning of the year I vowed that I would never ever, ever write about my pet. But, I have buckled and have to share these life lessons from a little cat.
A couple of weeks ago I packed away my duvet – it was far too hot. I put one of those large waffle type throws on my bed and had some really “cool” sleeps. Except that Bracken wasn’t feeling so well and took to sleeping in the spare room on a cat cushion with her cat blanket. She also feels the heat so I didn’t think too much about it apart from missing the cat body on my bed – this probably also explains why I was sleeping so well *grin*.
Then Lisa came to stay for a week whilst her house was being fixed up after her robbery. Bracken continued to sleep in the spare room, with Lisa, and in the morning I would find both of them snuggled up, sound asleep.
Lisa moved back to her place on Sunday and Bracken carried on sleeping in the spare room on her little cat cushion and, because it has been a bit chilly at night, I would make sure she was covered up with her blanket before I went to bed.
For the past few days I had been feeling pretty miffed that my cat was still sleeping in the spare room and even dumped my bucket on a few cat friends who listened patiently and graciously to my tale of woe and rejection.
Last night, because it has been a bit chilly, I unpacked my duvet and invited Bracken to “help” with the cover. This is always a great game and I usually end up slashed to pieces, dripping blood but we do have great fun. (An aside: I now know why my maid complained that Bracken was very naughty) Anyway, when I finally had the duvet in its cover and reasonably straight on the bed, Bracken sprawled out, full length and almost had a smirk on her face.
And guess what? I had Bracken on my bed, in my bed all of last night – muddy feet and all.
The lessons:
· Cats don’t do change very well and will make this known
· Cats always win in the end because I wont ever pack the duvet away again
· The number one priority in a cats’ life is their comfort
· I now know that we just work to support them
· I do want to come back in my next life as a Bracken cat
· To have love and cuddles withheld by a cat is the worst thing in the world
A couple of weeks ago I packed away my duvet – it was far too hot. I put one of those large waffle type throws on my bed and had some really “cool” sleeps. Except that Bracken wasn’t feeling so well and took to sleeping in the spare room on a cat cushion with her cat blanket. She also feels the heat so I didn’t think too much about it apart from missing the cat body on my bed – this probably also explains why I was sleeping so well *grin*.
Then Lisa came to stay for a week whilst her house was being fixed up after her robbery. Bracken continued to sleep in the spare room, with Lisa, and in the morning I would find both of them snuggled up, sound asleep.
Lisa moved back to her place on Sunday and Bracken carried on sleeping in the spare room on her little cat cushion and, because it has been a bit chilly at night, I would make sure she was covered up with her blanket before I went to bed.
For the past few days I had been feeling pretty miffed that my cat was still sleeping in the spare room and even dumped my bucket on a few cat friends who listened patiently and graciously to my tale of woe and rejection.
Last night, because it has been a bit chilly, I unpacked my duvet and invited Bracken to “help” with the cover. This is always a great game and I usually end up slashed to pieces, dripping blood but we do have great fun. (An aside: I now know why my maid complained that Bracken was very naughty) Anyway, when I finally had the duvet in its cover and reasonably straight on the bed, Bracken sprawled out, full length and almost had a smirk on her face.
And guess what? I had Bracken on my bed, in my bed all of last night – muddy feet and all.
The lessons:
· Cats don’t do change very well and will make this known
· Cats always win in the end because I wont ever pack the duvet away again
· The number one priority in a cats’ life is their comfort
· I now know that we just work to support them
· I do want to come back in my next life as a Bracken cat
· To have love and cuddles withheld by a cat is the worst thing in the world
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Ballet Lessons
My friend Frances is a ballet teacher and very involved in the ballet happenings in Gauteng. She phoned me at the beginning of this week to say the person who was to compere the ballet festival on Friday (yesterday) couldn’t make it so would I fill in.
So, off I went at lunchtime and Frances gave me some instructions on what to do etc. and how to operate the music system. Horrors! I had to play the music as well and this involves stressed teachers mumbling a girls name and track number and then disappearing…. I think Frances saw the look on my face and went off to find an ex student to help – thank goodness. She went off to help in the tuck shop at the dinner break – this was a 7 hour marathon dance festival. Michelle was replaced with a much younger Crystal who, with about 10 second instructions from me (by this stage I was pretty savvy with what to do), grasped the workings of tape decks, cd slots and sound control. Amazing – just give it to a teenager.
Anyway, I was feeling a lot more at ease with my tasks. I was however just a little disappointed and feeling a bit inhibited that I had to stick to a script – no yelling out “Yeah for the girl in blue”, or “give the lass who lost her skirt a big round of applause”. No, it was all quite sedate and controlled.
But the script was about the only sedate thing happening back stage and this is really the purpose of this blog.
A ballet festival is the most hectic and stressful place backstage – which is where I was and hundreds of little girls, teachers, stage hands, bits and pieces of scenery, bags of props, the odd mother or two who got chased away. The teachers have groups of girls (and one little boy) or solo dancers they have to get on stage, pacify restless children, praise the ones coming off the stage, give me instructions, give us the music, make sure the kids have the correct outfits, makeup, hairstyles and so on…… The festival is the result of months of work – possibly the entire year. And some kids get and A+ and some get Cs. There are tears and disappointed faces and some very happy ones.
But here’s the thing – this is actually a public performance appraisal of the teachers. They dancers are judged by the ballet adjudicators and the teacher is judged on the results her pupils get. This is how she gets students to her studio – this is her livelihood. And all the results belted out by the adjudicator in public. And if that is not enough, during the 3 sessions in the afternoon and evening, I told the audience (the parents) 7 times that if they had a problem with the results they were to talk only to the people at the back desk. The teachers take a pounding from the parents. It is very difficult – I now know what Frances means when she rolls her eyes heavenward and says “ballet mothers”.
In conclusion: I wondered how many of us sitting in comfy offices would take having our performance review done with the entire staff and customer base looking on and allowing them to object if they felt like it. …. Not likely.
So, off I went at lunchtime and Frances gave me some instructions on what to do etc. and how to operate the music system. Horrors! I had to play the music as well and this involves stressed teachers mumbling a girls name and track number and then disappearing…. I think Frances saw the look on my face and went off to find an ex student to help – thank goodness. She went off to help in the tuck shop at the dinner break – this was a 7 hour marathon dance festival. Michelle was replaced with a much younger Crystal who, with about 10 second instructions from me (by this stage I was pretty savvy with what to do), grasped the workings of tape decks, cd slots and sound control. Amazing – just give it to a teenager.
Anyway, I was feeling a lot more at ease with my tasks. I was however just a little disappointed and feeling a bit inhibited that I had to stick to a script – no yelling out “Yeah for the girl in blue”, or “give the lass who lost her skirt a big round of applause”. No, it was all quite sedate and controlled.
But the script was about the only sedate thing happening back stage and this is really the purpose of this blog.
A ballet festival is the most hectic and stressful place backstage – which is where I was and hundreds of little girls, teachers, stage hands, bits and pieces of scenery, bags of props, the odd mother or two who got chased away. The teachers have groups of girls (and one little boy) or solo dancers they have to get on stage, pacify restless children, praise the ones coming off the stage, give me instructions, give us the music, make sure the kids have the correct outfits, makeup, hairstyles and so on…… The festival is the result of months of work – possibly the entire year. And some kids get and A+ and some get Cs. There are tears and disappointed faces and some very happy ones.
But here’s the thing – this is actually a public performance appraisal of the teachers. They dancers are judged by the ballet adjudicators and the teacher is judged on the results her pupils get. This is how she gets students to her studio – this is her livelihood. And all the results belted out by the adjudicator in public. And if that is not enough, during the 3 sessions in the afternoon and evening, I told the audience (the parents) 7 times that if they had a problem with the results they were to talk only to the people at the back desk. The teachers take a pounding from the parents. It is very difficult – I now know what Frances means when she rolls her eyes heavenward and says “ballet mothers”.
In conclusion: I wondered how many of us sitting in comfy offices would take having our performance review done with the entire staff and customer base looking on and allowing them to object if they felt like it. …. Not likely.
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Terms and Conditions
A few years ago I had the enormous privilege to work with a start-up non profit fund raising organisation. This organisation has a novel method of collecting funds and consequently had to ensure that all the complicated legal and other governance issues were well and truly covered. Our attorneys belonged to one of the countries biggest firms and they unstintingly spent so much time (pro bono) with us and shared their knowledge. It was a tremendous learning experience: contracts, patents, trust and foundation law and so on, even tax issues thrown in for good measure.
For me, I found contracts to be really interesting (I also enjoyed patents, but more of this another time). The biggest lesson was that a contract should be fair for both parties ie. If a contract is 100%, then each party should benefit by 50% each. So, if I rent a place for Rxy, being the standard rate for a 2 bedroom flat, then I expect to get a 2 bedroom flat, no more, no less. And you can apply this to employment, purchasing a motor vehicle etc.
Well now I am going to talk about personal relationships. And you may quite rightly ask what on earth this has to do with contracts.
In the last couple of week, I have heard a number of people (men and women) talk, albeit sheepishly, about “contracts” they have entered into with their so called significant other.
The contracts go something like this: Person A says to potential significant other at the beginning of relationship
· “I don’t ever see us walking off hand in hand into the sunset”,
· “the most important thing in my life is my mother/sister/children/father/wife/husband and they will always come first”,
· “I am incapable of loving so don’t expect that”,
· “this will just be a short term relationship – with no strings attached”,
· “you can get out of this relationship any time you like – I will not hold you back”
Do you see what is happening here? Are these people emotionally dead/deprived or what? What they are actually saying is that your needs just do not count, my needs do. This is a one sided relationship of note.
Even worse is to come. The people who told me these things are in a bit of a pickle because their emotions are involved, they want a bit more commitment now and when they tried to discuss this with the “advantaged other” they were told “but I stated the Terms and Conditions at the beginning – so what’s your problem - you knew what the story was – I have always been honest with you”. The problem is that no-one should get involved in relationships where T & C’s are so one sided. If you are going to have a fling, by all means have a fling. But a fling does not last 1, 3, 5, 7 years. Good grief – these relationships are entirely one sided. Why should they change their minds?
But my personal favourite with one of these relationships, is of a married man who began an affair with: “I will not hurt my wife, I am known as a man of honour and I will never break a promise, I gave my word to my wife (ie. Till death do us part), I cannot hurt the kids even if they are grown up, and so on and so on”. Do you also see something wrong with this? This man, in one breath states he is an honourable man, but is quite happy to lie to and deceive his nearest and dearest and mess up someone else’s life in the process – but he did warn her first… well one hopes so, cause that makes it all OK. And this is the classic one sided contract – definitely no win/win here.
And yes, you may ask why people (men and women) can be so stupid – well who knows, but the heart, a bit of lust and some true emotions do get in the way of rational thinking…….
And the final lesson here – remember, always remember how a contract should be structured.
For me, I found contracts to be really interesting (I also enjoyed patents, but more of this another time). The biggest lesson was that a contract should be fair for both parties ie. If a contract is 100%, then each party should benefit by 50% each. So, if I rent a place for Rxy, being the standard rate for a 2 bedroom flat, then I expect to get a 2 bedroom flat, no more, no less. And you can apply this to employment, purchasing a motor vehicle etc.
Well now I am going to talk about personal relationships. And you may quite rightly ask what on earth this has to do with contracts.
In the last couple of week, I have heard a number of people (men and women) talk, albeit sheepishly, about “contracts” they have entered into with their so called significant other.
The contracts go something like this: Person A says to potential significant other at the beginning of relationship
· “I don’t ever see us walking off hand in hand into the sunset”,
· “the most important thing in my life is my mother/sister/children/father/wife/husband and they will always come first”,
· “I am incapable of loving so don’t expect that”,
· “this will just be a short term relationship – with no strings attached”,
· “you can get out of this relationship any time you like – I will not hold you back”
Do you see what is happening here? Are these people emotionally dead/deprived or what? What they are actually saying is that your needs just do not count, my needs do. This is a one sided relationship of note.
Even worse is to come. The people who told me these things are in a bit of a pickle because their emotions are involved, they want a bit more commitment now and when they tried to discuss this with the “advantaged other” they were told “but I stated the Terms and Conditions at the beginning – so what’s your problem - you knew what the story was – I have always been honest with you”. The problem is that no-one should get involved in relationships where T & C’s are so one sided. If you are going to have a fling, by all means have a fling. But a fling does not last 1, 3, 5, 7 years. Good grief – these relationships are entirely one sided. Why should they change their minds?
But my personal favourite with one of these relationships, is of a married man who began an affair with: “I will not hurt my wife, I am known as a man of honour and I will never break a promise, I gave my word to my wife (ie. Till death do us part), I cannot hurt the kids even if they are grown up, and so on and so on”. Do you also see something wrong with this? This man, in one breath states he is an honourable man, but is quite happy to lie to and deceive his nearest and dearest and mess up someone else’s life in the process – but he did warn her first… well one hopes so, cause that makes it all OK. And this is the classic one sided contract – definitely no win/win here.
And yes, you may ask why people (men and women) can be so stupid – well who knows, but the heart, a bit of lust and some true emotions do get in the way of rational thinking…….
And the final lesson here – remember, always remember how a contract should be structured.
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
The Turkey Graph
I so appreciated the hearty chuckle from my friend Jeanne when I told her about the book, The Black Swan, and how the author Nassim Nicholas Taleb, describes the Black Swan in his “turkey graph” (my term for the graph - Taleb calls the graph “one thousand and one days in history”).
So, what is this graph? Well, take one turkey and feed him every day for one thousand and one days to get him ready for Christmas. The amount of food the turkey gets every day is just about the same and he’s fed twice a day at almost the same time. The graph will be fairly flat with a few small, insignificant ups and down for the amount of food he gets… but it is just about a straight line for a thousand days. And then the surprise happens – he gets the chop and is plucked and dressed for the Christmas table.
Significantly, there is absolutely nothing in this view that would have prepared the turkey for this surprise (black swan). Every day he got fed and things progressed along really nicely. This view really begs the question of why we always/mostly base our predictions (share prices, oil prices, sales forecasts, interest rates, life events etc) on historical data?
(NB: I don’t mean to reduce the essence of this amazing book to this one graph – but it sure as hell describes the Black Swan and how blinkered we can be. I recommend this book to everyone – give yourself a little treat and buy it)
So, what is this graph? Well, take one turkey and feed him every day for one thousand and one days to get him ready for Christmas. The amount of food the turkey gets every day is just about the same and he’s fed twice a day at almost the same time. The graph will be fairly flat with a few small, insignificant ups and down for the amount of food he gets… but it is just about a straight line for a thousand days. And then the surprise happens – he gets the chop and is plucked and dressed for the Christmas table.
Significantly, there is absolutely nothing in this view that would have prepared the turkey for this surprise (black swan). Every day he got fed and things progressed along really nicely. This view really begs the question of why we always/mostly base our predictions (share prices, oil prices, sales forecasts, interest rates, life events etc) on historical data?
(NB: I don’t mean to reduce the essence of this amazing book to this one graph – but it sure as hell describes the Black Swan and how blinkered we can be. I recommend this book to everyone – give yourself a little treat and buy it)
Saturday, 6 September 2008
So, who wants a proper job?
At lunchtime today I am dropping my daughter Lisa, at the airport. She is off overseas; firstly to compete in the 24hr Rogaine World Champs taking place in Estonia, and secondly to spend a bit of time in the UK with friends. You can read about the Rogaine World Champs on her blog: http://adventurelisa.blogspot.com/2008/09/rogaining-world-champs-estonia.html
Lisa is an adventure sports journalist and I thought I would tot up the countries she has been to since 2000, either reporting on events or participating and then writing the articles afterwards.
So, in no particular order: North America – East and West Coast – a few times, Brazil, Argentina, Chile and Patagonia a couple of times, Costa Rica, England, France Switzerland, Russia, Borneo, New Zealand, Hawaii, Singapore, Zambia, Mozambique, and Namibia. And now Estonia and at the end of the year she will be taking an invitation team to Abu Dhabi.
She is one person who has successfully turned something she loves (running and adventure racing) into a job that has taken her to some really exotic places. In between all the travel and sports events she has written for various magazines and managed to remain employed with a non-profit organisation.
My friend Chris often asks if Lisa has a “proper job” yet ie. 9 to 5 *grin*. But seriously, given all the exciting things she does and gets paid for – if this was you, would you opt for a proper job?
Lisa is an adventure sports journalist and I thought I would tot up the countries she has been to since 2000, either reporting on events or participating and then writing the articles afterwards.
So, in no particular order: North America – East and West Coast – a few times, Brazil, Argentina, Chile and Patagonia a couple of times, Costa Rica, England, France Switzerland, Russia, Borneo, New Zealand, Hawaii, Singapore, Zambia, Mozambique, and Namibia. And now Estonia and at the end of the year she will be taking an invitation team to Abu Dhabi.
She is one person who has successfully turned something she loves (running and adventure racing) into a job that has taken her to some really exotic places. In between all the travel and sports events she has written for various magazines and managed to remain employed with a non-profit organisation.
My friend Chris often asks if Lisa has a “proper job” yet ie. 9 to 5 *grin*. But seriously, given all the exciting things she does and gets paid for – if this was you, would you opt for a proper job?
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